With Apple steadily taking over the world in a Skynet-style assembly line of ever more intelligent inventions, itâ??s about time the app world did something absolutely mind-boggling.
Here are some of the greatest apps that the world just isnâ??t ready for.
1)Â Â Â Â Â Drunken text translator.
Everyone sends texts when theyâ??ve had one too many. Whether something to do with boozeâ??s profound properties of dispelling social awkwardness or just for something to do when the DJ plays a rubbish song, more texts are sentÂ during a night out than at any other time (probably). It also just so happens that the majority of texts that are sent during this period of merriment are unintelligible ramblings.
Enter the drunken text translator!
No more page-long nonsense essays from a philosophical friend after a few pints.
No more midnight hieroglyph deciphering, trying to figure out whether the girl you like wants you to meet her after her night out or sheâ??s just thrown up on her hamster.
Just a smart little app that turns â??fihihfw2 3 ffef1!â?? into the intended â??party at mine at 8!â??
Good times. Enjoy, freshers.
2)Â Â Â Â Â In-Law Preventer
Next up is the fabled mother-in-law tracker.
Men and women the world over have been subjected to in-laws since the beginning of time. With the rapid progress of technology it shouldnâ??t be too long into the future before we can pin point their exact location and promptly, with no fuss at all apart from pulling the kids out of school and setting the house alarm, fly to the other side of the world. No more Sunday gatherings.
The best thing is we can do all of this at the same time, thanks to our iPhones.
3)Â Â Â Â Â iPhone ATM
Third on our list is a real money-spinner. Â What if there was a cash withdrawal app?
Weâ??ve all had those made dashes to the ATM when weâ??ve been found a bit short on an outing. What if we could get the money from our phones? There would be no more disgruntled queues at those â??Â£1.75 to get your own moneyâ?? cash machines, and no more people in the local Spar buying packs of chewing gum in order to get cash back. What a world to live in!
The only problem is where the paper comes from, but Iâ??m not a scientist and Iâ??m sure they can figure it out.
4)Â Â Â Â Â The Single Radar
Fourth on our list is perhaps the biggest time-saver of them all and needs little to no explanation. It would also be handy for all those people going back to (or starting at) university in a few weeks.
Itâ??s called The Single Radar.
Itâ??s a sort of low-level electromagnetic pulse which spreads out and gathers data on a certain area.
Itâ??ll tell you immediately and discreetly when it has finished its scan with a vibrating alert. Electrical impulses emanate from your chosen gadget, recording the emotions and brain chemistry of everyone within a certain radius, giving an informed response on whoâ??s taken, whoâ??s not and who wishes they were.
This will give you a distinct advantage over the extrovert macho types in tight t-shirts.
Not so ethical, but oh so convenient.
This would sell out at universities everywhere.
But, for many reasons, should probably never see the light of day. Fingers crossed you’ll soon be able to purchase such a fantasy app on a site like Alert Electical
Thereâ??s an app for basically everything, but itâ??s time to go to the next level. Itâ??s time to make an app which takes care of all those menial tasks you canâ??t be bothered with, a bit like those little dinosaurs on The Flintstones which they used as both rubbish bins and combs.
That said, we should probably just enjoy our harmless apps like Accuweather and Sounddrop before all Apple technology becomes self-aware and tries to kill us.
Anyway, what are some of the apps youâ??d like to see invented?
Sam Beddall is an enthusiastic blogger with a passion for technology and futuristic gadgets. He often writes for Alert Electrical and also spends his time writing film and music reviews, when not engaged on the Xbox.